You Are Mine

This started out as a reflection on Mother’s Day. I had begun thinking about the Church as Mother, and my own role as a mother, and was just piecing a lot of those thoughts together when I began to process the anti-abortion laws currently being voted on and passed in several states in the U.S.  How do I make sense of these decisions as a mother, as a woman who had a miscarriage and still grieves that life I never got to know, as a Catholic who believes in the sanctity of life but also believes decisions about birth and life and death are personal and individual and cannot be mandated in a “one size fits all” fashion?  I realized that I have many thoughts on all of this, but I am still ruminating on the words.

I am also coming to the end of my second term as a board member of the Women’s Ordination Conference.  I can’t believe it’s been six years since I became a part of this amazing organization, and I am so grateful that I’ve been able to witness and help shape its growth over the last several years. WOC will always be a part of my life, and I’m spending some time discerning how I can remain a part of WOC from outside the board.

What WOC has taught me is that women have always had a voice in the church, and making that voice louder isn’t ungrateful or un-Catholic.  It’s a part of who we’ve always been as Church. That knowledge is fortifying me as I struggle with my personal and political feelings on the anti-abortion laws, as I wrestle with my anger about the mishandling of the sexual abuse crisis over the decades, and as I balance being a faithful Catholic and an advocate for change in the Church.

I love the weeks after Easter at church – we’re still celebrating the Resurrection but there are opportunities to reflect on many different moments in our faith history.  Many of the scriptures I’ve heard at mass the last few weeks are referenced in David Haas’ hymn You Are Mine, a beautiful song that I’ve sung in a few choirs over the years. These are the lyrics that have been in my head recently, and I’m now realizing that they are a source of comfort and strength as I’m wrestling and struggling and discerning.

I am the Word that leads all to freedom

I am the peace the world cannot give

I will call your name, embracing all your pain

Stand up, now, walk, and live

Do not be afraid, I am with you

I have called you each by name

Come and follow Me

I will bring you home

I love you and you are mine.

Thank you, WOC, for all you have given to me these last six years. I am with you in the continued struggle.

Tracy Garrison-Feinberg is a WOC board member living in Brooklyn, NY.