Godde speaks. I have heard her and him and them.

I am taking a course in theology through the People’s Catholic Seminary. It is self-paced, and I hope to have it completed by 2026 – that is a joke – but not far off the mark – because as a colleague (a high school guidance counselor) said to me: “You are intellectually curious.” I loved her for giving me that label – it sounds so much better than you overextend yourself because you like to do a lot of different things, and then get overwhelmed. Or the truth – you have ADHD and impulse control. Whatever. It is me. I am enough. 😂

So, I own, I am intellectually curious but not overly ambitious.😊

Taking this course is one step I am taking to discern my calling to the priesthood and get back into learning more about contemporary theological ideas related to a more inclusive Catholic church.

So, when I realized in A Different Kind of Fast, that for the second week of Lent, I was being asked to fast from scarcity anxiety and embrace radical trust in abundance – I leaped.

As a person who espouses I am in recovery from overspending/debting along with I am someone who is contemplating a call to the priesthood – this was Godde not just speaking but yelling at me.

I needed to make some changes, and I did. I quit teaching yoga and I quit my union. Both actions were significant because teaching yoga was a wonderful way for me to build community. But I realized my practice was suffering and not only my practice but my job.

The union was hard. I was the second vice president, the coordinator of professional development, and a site representative, and when you teach in the hellscape of public education in Florida (a right-to-work state with a bunch of “eduticians” who think banning books will improve learning) the union IS necessary. I believe in unions. I believe in the power of the people. I believe unfettered capitalism is checked when the middle class has a voice. I believe one person can make a difference. But I believe the only way I could impact the union was by leaving it. In doing that – the calendar opened up.

With these actions, I have stepped out in faith. I am going to embrace the radical trust in abundance by recommitting to my recovery, my work with the WOC board, discerning ordination, and my job. Period. Hard stop. Godde will provide. If I let go of things that are taking up space, I will have more room to figure out what I am supposed to be doing. Because wait for it…

I cannot do it all. I have known this for some time, but in working through fasting from multi-tasking, and embracing the invitation to fast from scarcity anxiety and embrace radical trust in abundance I am doing what I need to do to fill my cup.

On this spiritual journey/quest/season, I have come to realize the Eastern world is right, and our Western way of living is nuts, for my personal spiritual sustainability.

I have leaned into this notion that God is first, my friends are second, and I am third for most of my adult life and I realize how incredibly unsustainable that is. I have realized I have been a selfish person, and that is not something I am called to be. However, the Dalai Lama talks about “good selfishness.”  Meaning, we have to keep our glass full if we are going to be able to have the generosity of spirit Jesus calls us to. At the end of the day, my busyness trying to change the world has left me angry and judgmental. I cannot change the world. I can change myself. I can show up for my students. I can show up for my fellow over-spenders and debtors. I can practice yoga – I do not have to lead it.

If I can quiet the noise and the busyness, I can rest in the sacrament of the sacred moment and hear Godde speak. She will tell me what I need to do – to change my world.

I choose to embrace radical trust in abundance.

Amen & Namaste

How is your Lenten journey? Let’s travel this road together.  Please comment below.